Posts Tagged With: Empty Nest

Sisterhood of the Traveling Maternity Pants

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In the corner of my closet, a storage bin sits overflowing with maternity clothes in all sizes and styles. For the past six years, the ladies in my family have passed the bin from one sister to another like a torch of fertility and love. Our hearts rejoice for our expecting sister, but for me, underneath the surface runs a little stream of envy. I am elated at the news and excited to hand over the hideous clothes, but I always feel a little tug, a little prick. “I wish it were me. I wish I were the one getting a baby, a newborn with blushing pink skin to kiss and a little baby neck to nuzzle.” The wishing and the envying forced me to add a stipulation to ease the pain with the bin hand over, “You can borrow them, but I may need them back.”

Luckily right now, I don’t feel the envy. I am the envy. So, today on my frustrating search through the bin for something, for anything at all that would accommodate my bulging baby bump, I had this thought, “What if this time, is this very last time, I will need this bin? What if I never need parachute blouses and elastic waist bands with hideous panels again? Will I be okay if I never see the second line on a pregnancy test magically appear in pink just one more time? What if this is truly the last time my abdomen will stretch and expand to house and nourish a little one? Will my uterus ever be content without feeling the miracle of tiny kicks and flutters? Will it?”

I just want to know if a mother’s womb ever stops longing to be filled, full of flesh and bone, and life?

Is a mother still a mother without a child?

Does a mama bird still soar as high and hunt as fearlessly when her nest is empty?

Does she sing songs strung on notes of sorrow and grief after?

I don’t know if I will ever see a mother-to-be and not think of how I felt when I carried my children. Every emotion, every fear, every moment of bliss, I will now and forever remember, and each of my children, regardless of how far they travel in this life and into the next, will always carry a piece of my heart with them.

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So, I am sure most of you are probably wondering if I will give the traveling maternity pants up without a fight. The answer is yes, but with one stipulation. They can borrow them, but I may need them back!

Categories: Mommy Tales | Tags: , , , , , | 6 Comments

A Lesson Every Child Should Learn!

Brush your teeth.

Wash behind your ears.

Leave the toilet seat the way you found it, DOWN!

Eat your vegetables, and no, French fries does not count.

No punching, hitting, or biting.

Share! Share! Share!

Always say please and thank you.

And, never, ever forget to say grace and give praise to the one that formed you, that breathed you into existence.

The list could go on and on. The list of lessons we must teach our children before they grow up. Before they fly away, and leave us with only a nest of thistle and twigs.

Daily I run thru the checklist in my head. Am I teaching them the important things, the ones that really matter?

Have I shown them that regardless of how tall you stand, you are always stronger on your knees, bent over in prayer?

Can they hear from the lyrics my tongue composes to uplift, comfort, and encourage and not hurt or hinder those around us?

Are they seeing it’s more important to lift a hand up and not a hand out?

Do they know to seek the altar and not applause?

Do they know to choose their words wisely? They may not be sticks and stones, but when thrown carelessly, they can hurt just the same.

Am I teaching them forgiveness for not only others, but themselves as well. We are all human, made up of flesh and bone. We are weak and clumsy by nature, but what matters isn’t that we stumble and fall. It’s how long we stay down that counts?

I know there are boxes I have not been able to mark on this exhausting, never-ending list. There will be lessons I will forget to teach, and actions I wish I would have shown them. The days are long, but the years are short. They will grow up, and I will run out of time, but the one thing I hope they learn from me, other than being strong in their faith, is I hope they learn to enjoy life. I hope they savor it, devour it, eat it up. I hope they skip the fork and use their hands. I hope they are covered in it from their head to their toes, and when God gives them a taste of Spring in the middle of Winter, I hope they will do what we did this past Friday; put on their rubber boots and hit the door running.

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What lessons do you hope your children learn or don’t learn from you? Please, share! I need to keep adding to my list…

Categories: Life, Mommy Tales | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Advice from a Doctor with a Cat in his Hat

I would be telling a bald-face lie, if I said I had not been looking forward to this day for a very long time. The truth is, this day has kept going for days, months, and almost a whole year. The thought of no more “good morning” battles, no more dressing a sleeping body as limp as perfectly boiled sphagetti, and no more, “Please, don’t make me go to school,” tears. I expected to be over joyed, elated, thrilled, my cup runneth over, flowing with excitement, but I am a little sad.

Today my daughter graduated from preschool. I know what’s the big fuss, right? It’s just preschool. It’s not like she will be spreading her wings, and flying toward higher education in the Fall, leaving her daddy and I, with an empty nest. No, she will be spending the summer at home, eating Popsicles and Watermelon, and riding her bicycle with training wheels intact. I will leave for work with my babies still in bed, and start my day with a little peace and quiet versus mortal combat. Aww, Relief! Aww, but it’s bittersweet.
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There is something about seeing your child in a cap and gown, whether they are four or fourteen, that tends to evoke sadness and panic. When I saw, my very little, girl marching with the rest of her class, into a gymnasium, single file to pomp and circumstance, I began to get choked up and teary eyed. I pictured her twelve years from now, all grown up, in a cap and gown, walking across a stage, to receive her high school diploma and her independence. My heart will swell with pride and burst with sadness. What will I do when she’s no longer dependent on me? How will I get used to a house without her in it everyday? Oh, sweet Jesus, how will I ever let her go? How?

I will. Somehow I will. I may be lonely at first. I may call her once, or twice, or three times a day just to hear her sweet voice, or just to know she’s really only a phone call away. I may go to her room, lay on her bed, and remember those long nights when she wanted me to sleep with her, and she would fall asleep on my chest. I’m sure I will shed lots of tears, then the well will dry up, eventually.

Life will go on. I will carry on. I will move on. I might get a new hobby. I might travel or write a racy novel. I might take in a foreign exchange student. I might adopt a baby girl from China, and start all over again, or I might seek advice from a doctor that has a cat in his hat. I’m sure he will prescribe this antidote for me: “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened!”. Smile! Smile! Smile! :) . Dang it, I’m smiling, because after all Dr. Suess, my daughter is only graduating from preschool, for now!

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Categories: Life, Mommy Tales | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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