Monthly Archives: August 2012

A down pour of novels

Like any good reader, I go thru seasons. There are times when there are not enough written materials of substance in the world to satisfy my hunger, and then there are times when I am smack dab in the middle of a reading drought, going thru days and days, book less. Right now, it’s currently raining novels at my house and my kindle is flooding with no end in sight.
Here are few reads worth mentioning:

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This one, The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker, quickly made its way on my list of all time favorite reads despite the books gloomy backdrop. The world is ending and you get to experience it all from the eyes of an adolescent named Julia. The author hooks you from the very beginning.

“We didn’t notice right away. We couldn’t feel it. We did not sense the extra time, bulging from the smooth edge of each day like a tumor blooming beneath skin.”

The world does not end all at once and the cause is not from what you would expect. No, it’s not from the result of global warming, meteor showers or atomic bombs. No, it’s much more subtle than that. The earth’s rotation begins to slow with no known cause and the days begin to lengthen by minutes and then hours. The sun no longer rises in the morning and the moon no longer reigns at night. Sometimes, it’s daylight for weeks and then it’s nighttime for weeks. Think Fairbanks, Alaska, but much, much worse. The only drawback to this novel is that I anticipated a major climax, and I didn’t get one. On a more positive note, the writing is superb. You truly feel like you are a patron in a movie theater watching the end all unfold on the big screen instead reading a bunch of written words. Loved it!

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My next read, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, made me experience so many varying levels of anger that I find it hard to say I liked it. Actually, I can not remember the last time a novel made me so stinking mad, but it didn’t keep me from reading it. To set the tone, the beginning feels a lot like the Lacy and Scott Peterson case, but do not be deceived. Things are not always what they seem and this novel has more twists than a salty pretzel. If you manage anger well, and do not mind Author’s playing tricks on you, than you would do well to add this one to your reading list. If not, don’t bother.

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I also recently finished, The Patron Saint of Liars, by Ann Patchett. You can find a better review of this one from fellow blogger, Alena, at Alena’s Life. Just click here for her review.

If you’ve read any of these please feel free to agree or disagree with my commentary. And, if you’re currently experiencing a reading drought, I’m sure the first two novels will bring the rain. Happy Reading!

Categories: Words to Read By | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

So long Summer

Dear summer,

I know you are not gone yet, but I feel you leaving, slipping through my fingertips. I had big plans for us. So many things I intended to do with you, while the days were long, and the nights were short. A to do list that could not be rivaled, but lays, unfulfilled.

I imagined countless trips down a river in a little canoe, just me and you. I imagined many more days of frolicking under the sun and outrunning the moon. I pictured the flowers always in bloom, the trees always adorned, the grass forever in color.

I thought we had more time, but now September is telling me otherwise. I know I will miss you, summer, when the leaves begin to fall and swirl in a chaos of colors. I will miss you when the first snowflakes fly like feathers from a dove, or a love letter from God, addressed to the frozen earth. I will miss you when my babies, bundled like Eskimos, dance in the snow, leaving a trail of tiny footprints, leading to my front door.

So, summer while you still linger, shine big and bright, just for me and my babies. Give us one more chance to dive in the deep end of the pool, one more golden opportunity to catch the big one that got away, and one more night to watch falling stars under a haze of heat and humidity.

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Just remember, Summer, as you go, that I will miss you all Winter long…

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

I might be a Bad Mother!

At work, all day long my thoughts are with my children.

At 8:00 a.m. I wonder if Lauryn has quit crying after I dropped her off at school? Is she okay now? Did her teacher dry her tears?

At 10:00 a.m. I wonder if Skylyr has ate breakfast? Did he drink his milk? Maybe I should start giving him Flintstone’s vitamin.

11:30 a.m. It’s lunch. Did Lauryn eat what I packed her? Did someone help her open her milk? She’s so shy, what if she’s too afraid to ask someone for help?

1:00 p.m. Nap time. Oh, how I wish I was at home with Skylyr, snuggled up on the couch as he twists my hair with his tiny little fingers, while downing a sippy cup.

2:00 p.m. I must not forget to pick Lauryn up from school. Oh, my! What would happen if I did? Would she be panicked? Would someone call me? Would they report me to social services?

3:00 p.m. I am on my way to collect my children. I cannot wait to see them, hold them, and kiss them to pieces. I do and then it starts.

Five minutes after I’ve picked up my first bundle of joy, she begins her requests. “Can we stop and get candy? Can we pick Katie up? Can we pick Madison up? Can I go to Nana’s house? Can we go walking? Can I ride my bike on the road? Get me some milk! Where is my night-night?”. The demands go on and on…

Then I collect bundle of joy number two and he starts. “Can we go to Wayne’s? Can I ride my tractor? Can I ride Wayne’s tractor? Can we go walking? Push me on the swing! Get me some juice! Pick Katie up!”. The list goes on and on.

Does it ever stop? Can I move fast enough? Can I get an extra set of hands? I make one happy, and I make the other one mad. One wants to go outside, the other one wants to stay inside. I fix two different meals. I hunt down favorite cups and missing blankets! I charge john Deere tractors and corral ponies. I am utterly spent, and I am not nearly enough!

It’s a quarter after five p.m. on most days when I begin to day dream about work. Yes, I miss work! I miss the quiet! I miss the freedom! Does this make me a bad mother? Wait, never mind! Don’t answer!

Categories: Mommy Tales | Tags: , , , , , | 15 Comments

When you’re fifteen…

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When you are fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you are going to believe them, Taylor Swift. You will and I did.

I started my very first day of high school with blonde highlights and a junior boyfriend, who had a car. I wore his Letterman jacket across my back and his class ring next to my heart dangling from a gold chain. His name plus my name, written in hearts, and tattooed to mead notebooks, with a promise of 4-ever!

His name was always on the tip of my tongue. His face always in my daydreams. During English, I decided he would always be my metaphor for true love. In algebra, I solved equations, me + him = eternity. In history, I did not want to concern myself with the past. All I could see was the future, mine and his. Me, in a white wedding gown, walking down an aisle, covered in rose petals, toward the man of my high school dreams. I was wrapped, all tied up in him. My toes were flirting with the edge, and then I fell, head over heels, and I kept rolling.

Someone should have warned me that young love usually doesn’t get the chance to grow old. The hotter the flames, the quicker the fire burns out. We sizzled, sputtered, and spat, then we burnt out, leaving nothing behind but a pile of ashes. I guess I realized I had bigger dreams than dating a boy on the baseball team and he had bigger dreams than dating a freshman girl. The end of us.

I am married now and have two children and that was many, many moons ago. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday. I had not seen my high school dream since graduation, until today. Sitting at my desk, skimming the local paper, I looked into the eyes of my first date, my first “real” kiss, and my first I love you. He looked older, a little rougher around the edges, but his eyes were still the same. I remember carrying a picture of him in my purse and now the local paper runs his picture. His mug shot actually, in the JUST JAILED report. I could have married a felon, and all I can say is that one of God’s greatest gift’s,truly is, unanswered prayers.

Categories: Life, Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Paying it backward

For some strange reason, the blogging gods have looked down on me from a far, and found favor in my sight. They graciously rained down three awards on my lowly blog, The Versatile Blogger Award, The Reader Appreciation Award, and The one Lovely Blog Award. I am grateful and humbled.

To accept these awards, I have to fulfill some requirements rules. I’ve never really been good with expectations, so I am going to spread the love without the rules. Instead of paying my awards forward, I am going to pay them backward by honoring those who awarded me, My pretzel logic, Amb, and The Bumble Files.

Amber @ wordsbecomesuperfluous is downright Amazing. Despite talking too much she never writes too much. Her posts are short, sugary, and bursting with enthusiasm. She has excellent taste in music and knows how to show her readers a good time. So, if you are in need of a pick me up or an excellent read just visit Amber!

One of my newest followers and I am so stinking glad he found me, My Pretzel Logic! He loves caffeine, girl’s with pretty voices, and he has a way with words. I think this guy’s a charmer, and I am smitten. I could read his caffeine chronicles all day long. They are like a good book you can’t put down! So go, read his stuff!

And, last but not least, The Bumble Files. Oh, how I adore this blog! It’s clean. It’s fresh, and she really knows how to engage her readers. Besides posting 2 and 3 part stories to keep you coming back for more, she has open discussions with her readers mainly about writing and everything else!

I feel very honored that these three bloggers awarded me with such lovely awards! And, thank you all for allowing me to play it backward!

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 11 Comments

This is home

I grew up in a small town, and I now live in an even smaller town. Actually, I don’t even live in a town. I live in the country.

Out here, you will not find any of these:

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And, not many of these:

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But, you will find these scattered along the countryside:

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You will see these grazing in green pastures:

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And, from time to time, you will find these pecking away in your neighbor’s yard:

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As small as my town may seem to you, it feels even smaller to me, like an old pair of jeans I’ve long since outgrown. As a teenager these words, “I can’t wait to leave this place,” must have rolled from my tongue, like stones under rushing water, at least a dozen times a day. In my mind, I could see this small town, sinking and sinking, farther away in my rear view mirror as I left it and all it’s contents far, far behind on a bright, August morning. There would be no tears or regrets just the road before me and my dreams lighting the way. That was back when I still thought the world was flat and a man lived on the moon.

How quickly innocence fades in the shadows of adulthood. I tried to leave, but my feet could not tread water in asphalt seas. My voice, at it’s highest pitch, muffled by all the noise and commotion of the city, sang alto in a choir of soprano’s. My lungs crackled and wheezed without the fresh country air. I felt sick. I felt alone, just another stranger in a strange place.

Then it hit me that somehow, long ago, this small town found a way under my skin and settled in my bones, along the growth plates, within the marrow. I knew I belonged here in this small town, where the grass grows wild and green, where the mountains roll tall and wide, and the only thing scraping the sky is the limbs of an old oak tree reaching for the heavens. For me, there’s no other place I would rather be. This is home!

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , | 8 Comments

One More Night

 

Her clothes are laid out, pink horse shirt and denim skirt. Her backpack is crammed full of pencils, paper, crayons and scissors. Her lunch order has been placed and her shoes wait by the door. She, my baby girl, is outside enjoying her last day of freedom, while I am in the bathroom, trying to stop the tears from falling.

Tonight was open house at my daughter’s school, and tomorrow is her first day of kindergarten. I have had all Summer to prepare her, to prepare myself, and now I am pleading for more time. We need one more month of late night bike rides and swimming trips. We need at least another week of lazy mornings and sunny afternoons. And, I desperately need one more night to accept that this Big, Beautiful girl:

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is no longer this sweet, baby girl

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God Help me! Where are the Kleenex’s?

Categories: Life, Mommy Tales | Tags: , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Olympic Sized Heart!

I have endured through eight World Olympics. Eight doesn’t sound like a lot compared to all the years that have passed in between, but eight is plenty for a memory to stock pile snapshots of decorated champions and their medals. Images of athletes who persevered against all odds, underdogs who overcame and turned up on top, and those who no one once knew suddenly became the person everyone wanted to know, as they proudly stood on a podium, their national anthem blasting in the background. As the 2012 Summer Olympics in London continues to march on, there are two people in particular that always come to mind when I see the colors of many countries represented by oversized rings and bound by the games.

This man, Béla Károlyi.

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And, this girl, Kerri Strug.

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I would love to forget the man, but I’ll never forget the girl, and her courageous performance at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta. My palms sweat and my mascara runs just thinking about it.

You all remember, don’t you? The United States had never won a coveted gold medal in the Women’s Team Competition EVER, and in 1996 they had a chance, a real shot. I think everyone would agree their road to victory was paved with heartache and magic, so much so, that you had to keep asking yourself, “Is this real or is this a well written made for TV movie?”.

Kerri Strug was the smallest and one of the least talked about gymnasts on the team. Shannon Miller, Dominique Dawes and Dominique Moceanu were all fan favorites. Those three girls all had major followings, but Kerri Strug could not compare. They were all Princesses, and Kerri was Cinderella before the glass slipper or the gold medal. Oh, how a twist of fate, or a twist of the ole ankle, can turn a prince into a frog, or a mediocre gymnast into a brazen olympian.

Like every good fairytale it all comes down to the ending, doesn’t it? Close calls and nears misses leave us hanging on and barley breathing, and the women’s olympic team competition gave us the same feel. The gold medal hung in the balance, teetering over the final rotation, on the final day of the team competition, July 23, 1996.

The Russians entered the team competition with a very narrow lead, but by the final rotation the U.S. had surpassed the Russians and held a commanding lead. The only way the Russians could take the gold from the U.S. at this point was if the U.S. team collapsed. And, they began to do just that.

The russians were on the floor tumbling, leaping, jumping and dancing to the sound of music. The Americans were one by one running toward the vault, springing into the air, and landing sloppy with steps and hops. Four of the Americans failed to land without blemish and then Strug’s teammate Dominique Moceanu not only stepped and hopped, she fell twice, registering a very poor score. Strug was the last to tackle the vault, and the gold medal depended on her.

Strug’s first attempt at the vault ended with uncertainty for the U.S. Olympic team. Kerri under-rotated the landing and damaged her ankle in the process. She walked away from the landing zone limping. The questions followed. Could she go again? Did she need to go again? Would she go again?

I’ll never forget the look on her face. You could see her pain, regardless of the angle. We watched her waiver. Do we need this, she asked? Not ready to forfeit, but not ready to go again. She hesitated and her coach did not. “Kerri, we need you to go one more time! We need you one more time for the Gold. You can do it, you better do it,” he screamed. You could see the wheels turning and her countenance change. She believed him. The fear that held her captive had been loosed. She would go, again, pushing past the pain and an ankle no longer the same. She dug deep and tackled the vault one more time. One more time to prove she could. One more time for her teammates. One more time, to take home the Gold.

We all held our breath and she took off in a sprint toward the vault. Her little legs, running, running, toward her fate. Her hands meet the vault and she propelled in the air, twisting and turning, and like all things that go up, she came down. The whole world was holding their breath as her feet made contact with the ground. She landed on both, briefly, and then remained standing on one. She looked like a little girl playing a game of hopscotch instead of a fierce Olympian. She hobbled around, trying to make it off the mat alone, and then she collapsed. God love, she collapsed. She was carried to a stretcher and in the words of the famous announcer that day, “Kerri Strug was hurt. She was hurt badly.”

Her last vault was enough. Turns out she didn’t even need to go again after the results came in from the Russians. The americans would have won gold, regardless of Kerri facing the vault twice. I felt a tremendous amount of sadness after hearing that bit of information. Would Kerri’s injury not have been as severe if she had stopped after the first vault? Would she have had a chance to go on and compete in the individual all-around competition and event finals instead of someone taking her rightful place? Would that second vault really have been her last? I guess we will never know, but without her second vault, the whole world would have never gotten the chance to see what it takes to be a real winner; an olympic sized heart! That my friends is more valuable than Gold!

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Bela carrying Strug to the podium to receive her gold medal

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 8 Comments

Happy Birthday, Buddy!

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
-Oprah Winfrey

True friendship is hard to find. There are people that are placed in your life during various stages and ages, but few linger on. They need you for a season; to get through a rough patch or a bump in the road and they move on. Those people are companions for the moment, but true friends stay around long after the party has ended.

True friends stay and help you clean up the mess. They help you make sense of everything that’s happened. They love you enough, to tell you when you are wrong, and they love you enough to stand up for you, when you are right.

True friends bring you chocolate and trash mags when you have landed yourself in a hospital bed. They lie and tell you everything is going to be okay, even when they know in their heart of hearts, there is a good chance it will not. They would do anything to spare your feelings, even if it meant passing on a chance encounter with Channing Tatum. Now, that is true friendship.

Lucky for me, I know I have at least one. A Bosom Buddy. An Old Crony. A spare tire. A sister from a different mother, and she turns 37 today.

Happy Birthday, Kimmie!!! I love you.

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Categories: Life | Tags: , , , | 7 Comments

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