My love for books comes in all different sizes. It comes in all different shapes and textures. Hardcover, paperback, and e-reader. Large print or small print. My love for books, also, comes in many colors, except for the many Shades of Grey. Yes, that’s right! I read the fifty shades of Grey trilogy, too, but love wasn’t quite the emotion I felt during or afterwards.
It seems like for months now, I have been faced with the same question, “Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?”. I would answer, “Umm…No!”. I hated to see the look of disappointment, plastered across their assuming faces. I really hated to say no! I hated that I didn’t have an opinion. Then I would watch in amusement, as their faces would shift from Dissappointment, because we could not bond over a mutual read, to light up like a Christmas tree excitement, because now I get to persuade you to read them. They would almost always, lean in real close, and whisper, ever so softly, like I have a dirty, little, secret to tell you, and begin their justification. Fifty Shades of Grey is definetly not a secret, unless you are a bona fide hermit, that has absolutely no contact with the outside world, what so EVER, but I do know now that Fifty Shades of Grey is D-I-R-T-Y!
Last Saturday, with a daunting eight hour car ride stretched out before me, I couldn’t think of a better way to waste the time away, with nothing, other than, a good read. I decided to bite the bullet, and download the first book in the triolgy. It has to be good, right? EVERYONE is talking about them! 30% into the book, I began to freak out! You have to be kidding me? People like this? I picture the Bronte sisters or Hemmingway dying another death! This is what Modern literature has resolved to? Something must be wrong with me! It must get better, it must! There has to be something of substance in these books, so I threw myself back into the trenches, and forged deeper into the shades of Grey.
I would like to report, that it did indeed get better, or my standards simply, plummeted. For some unknown reason, I had a desire to keep reading; call it intrigue or call it curiosity. I’m just not sure, but my lack of insight bothered me. I asked a couple of people who loved the series, “Why did you like it so much?”, and this is the response I received, “It’s just so different from anything I have ever read before.”. I would have to agree. Usually pornography is images and videos not mainstream literature.
After further introspect, I came to the conclusion, I do not love the books, Like, possibly? Yes, but my reasoning is still rooted in Love. I kept reading, because I yearned to see Love, turn a kinky, whip lashing, cane carrying, Sadist into a heart doodling, flower sending, jewelry buying, boyfriend. I wanted to see love conquer all. Luckily, for me I reaped a happy ending, but I do wish they would have ended a little further into the future.
The big question is, “Would I recommend these sensual works of art?”. Yes and No. If you are in the market for a literary masterpiece, then do not bother with these easy reads. However, if your heart desires a tainted, love story, with a dash of erotica, then these books are definetly your cup of tea! For those of you whom have not read the trilogy, let me leave you with some helpful hints and possible side effects:
1. Keep your expectations low, I mean as low as you can go, in terms of elements that make a good read, character development, plot, climax
there are a multitude of these in the books, etc.
2. Read them in private-otherwise your face may turn fifty shades of red from embarrassment and shame.
3. Be prepared to experience one of two reactions if your husband names going to the hardware store; Sheer excitement or Primal Fear.
4. Be prepared for a burning urge to viciously murder Anastasia Steele’s inner goddess. She is a pom-Pom packing, pony tail sporting cheerleader who feels the need to do somersaults and cartwheels at every flirtation. Please!
5. You will no longer refer to plugs and clamps as plumbing supplies.
6. The Unites States Census Bureau should look into hiring some more staff:
7. You will mind cheat with Christian Grey repeatedly and you will be devastated when this happens:
8. And whatever you do do not forget this: