Monthly Archives: March 2012

Lottery, Smottery!

I am almost too devastated to write! My hopes, my dreams and aspirations have been torn away from me. My heart hurts, but I must go on!

First thing this morning, before I even brushed my teeth, I googled The Mega Millions Lottery. The winning tickets were sold in Maryland, Illinois, and Kansas, but not Kentucky! I did not win! Sob! Sob! I will still be lower middle class! Ugh! I will still be swimming in debt up to my eyeballs. No enormous trust funds for my children! No, New iPad 3! No, New Coach Purse! No, donating lavishly to my favorite charities; St. Jude’s, Susan G. Komen, Autism Speaks and my wonderful, little church! I must go lie down!

I just keep thinking, why couldn’t it have been me. I am a good girl, for the most part. I pay my taxes. I recycle. I send my children to public school. I try my best to keep the ten commandments, except the coveting your neighbor part. I really, really, REALLY wanted to win!

I should have known better! I know the odds! I know my chances of getting struck by lightening is greater than winning the jackpot. I never play unless the payoff is so colossal I can not refuse. The Mega Millions kept whispering my name, “Buy a ticket, Tammy. Play your numbers. Someone has to win, and it could be you.”. Liar, Liar, LIAR!

I did not win. I will go to work on Monday. I will drive the same car, live in the same house, and wear the same clothes. My savings account will still be starving and my retirement fund non-existent. I will continue to love my not-so rich and famous life and I will not forget that I have my health, and a wealth of love, enough love to go around! Lottery, Smottery!

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Why short women should never run with tall men!

My husband had an idea this weekend! A Terrible, Awful, Idea! He thought it would be great if we started running together!

First of all, we are not the “Athletic” types. We like to watch sporting events, but we do not participate in them, Ever! My husband’s idea of physical activity is lifting his hand to his mouth while eating and doing thumb pushups while channel surfing. My idea of an Ironwoman Competition is changing at least 15 diapers, completing 10 loads of laundry, preparing three, three course meals and two snacks while preventing small children from sustaining bodily harm all in 16 hour time frame. So, my husband should not have been surprised in the least when my first reaction to his idea was a “Huh?”. Then a “Seriously.”. Then a “Why not?”.

Why not run with my husband? I still have a few pounds I need to shed from baby #2, and after trying on a pair of capris from last summer, I could afford to drop more than a “few” pounds. I felt like Roseanne Barr in a tube top and Daisy Dukes, or Fat Albert in a Camisole and Skinny Jeans. Okay, I exaggerated a little, but you get the picture. Who knows, I may actually enjoy doing something “Healthy”. Maybe?

For my husband, I laced up my running shoes and vowed to keep up with him. I started out strong, but we started out slow. We where side by side, neck and neck. I could feel the sun on my face and the wind whipping thru my hair. We kicked it up a notch. I liked the way I felt; heart racing and adrenaline pumping. I thought, “I can do this! No problem. I can keep up.”

My husband looks over at me and says, “Let’s go!”. What? I have been going, going as fast as my little legs will run. Apparently he had been briskly walking and I had been running to stay up with him. Did I mention that I am only 5′ 4″ and my husband is over six feet. He’s almost a foot taller than me. Really? What did I expect? Short, horribly out of shape, women should never run with tall men, who engage in hard manual labor for a living. Ugh! I should have just sat down and quit, but I’m not a quitter! I can keep up, I can! I can! I can!

Just as I had convinced myself to keep going. I had spotted my husband. He was so far ahead of me, I couldn’t even be sure it was him. I dug deep, took a deep breath and kicked it up another notch. I was going strong again, and then my shins started to burn. Then I started getting harrowing stabbing pains in my side, but I kept going. Oh, Crap! I swallowed a bug! Hack! Hack! Oh, no! My pony tail is falling down! I think something just took a hunk out of my leg. What was that, World’s largest Mosquito? What if it had the West Nile virus? I wonder how much longer my husband will do this? Is he not in pain, like me? He can’t really enjoy this pure, unadulterated, torture! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

I spot him! He’s slowing down. I really hope he hasn’t been watching me. I know he is going to rub this in or go all military on me. I can just hear him yell, “Keep up, Sizemore, or drop and give me twenty!”. Instead he says, “What’s wrong? Can’t you keep up?”. I can’t believe he just asked me that! “Yes, I can keep up! I have just been holding back for your sake,” I laugh. “You know, I wanted us to run “TO-GE-THER.”. If he hadn’t have said it in a condescending manner, I would have thought he was being sweet! I did not have long to steam over his backhanded jabs when once again he took off, and so did I.

I was determined to keep up. I wanted to slow down, when he slowed down. I wanted to stop, when he stopped, but it was not going to happen. His was widening the gap between us and regardless of how hard I pushed myself I could not keep up. I gave it my all, but I still came in last! My ego was damaged but not unrepairable. So What if I couldn’t keep up! I tried and I did not quit! Even if it was from a distance I still slowed down and stopped when he did! Next time, we will run together. I will ask for a astronomical head start or refuse to run with people who have elongated limbs!

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Hungry for More!

Okay! I know I may get blasted over this one, but I did not LOVE The Hunger Games Movie. Before you start to comment and try to convince me otherwise, let me explain.

The besties and I have had our calendar marked with a Big, Fat HG on today’s date for months (I thought a mockingjay would have been more appropriate but we are lacking an artist among our group. H.G. was the best we could do!). I mean months. I was excited but fearful. The books were so stinking good! ( I know what you are thinking. Yes, I am adult who sometimes indulges her inner 16 -year- old, self with juvenile fiction. Yes, I am one of those people and yes, I enjoyed the twilight novels as well, thank you very much!) But, are movies ever as good as their books. Sometimes, but not often! Let’s face it the odds are not forever in the movies favor, but it didn’t keep me from being hopeful.

I saw the “official” trailer and some that we’re not very “official”, and my hope began to grow. I would get goosebumps when Effie would announce Primrose Everdeen as tribute and Katniss would become hysterical and volunteer. I just knew Jennifer Lawrence had nailed the role of Katniss. After all, not every girl can rock a long braid, or shoot a bow, or skin a squirrel. She seemed absolutely perfect for the part. So, I was ready! Ready to tour the capital and watch the games (even though I knew there would be parts where I would have to cover my eyes, Yikes!).

I imagine those who know me can picture me sitting in my seat in the theater biting my nails and twisting my hair waiting for the movie to begin. I couldn’t set still until the lights dimmed and The Hunger Games began. Then I was transfixed. I remembered Katniss’s need to protect her sister regardless of the cost. I remembered why I fell in love with Gale. He’s smoking hot! I remembered Peeta and the bread and his heart the size of the awful Cornucopia! Sweet, Precious, Rue! Wonderful, beautiful Cinna! The bloodthirsty tributes and the disgusting Muts! The Dreadful President Snow and his beautiful white roses. They where all there in the movie exactly as written for the most part, but for me there was a lot missing.

In the book, you understood why Gale meant so much to Katniss. They understood each other. They shared a common goal; survival for their families. They shared a common loss; their fathers. In the movie, it just seemed like they were just hunting buddies. He seemed so happy, go lucky, smiling all the time. He wasn’t exactly like that in the book! He was bitter and HATED the Capitol. He had Fire just like Katniss, but he wasn’t more than a sizzle in the movie.

I also don’t think you get a good idea of the oppression that goes on in the districts by the Capital. In the movie, you don’t get why Gale and Katniss’ name is in the drawing forty + times and Primose’s name is only in there once. Other than President Snow’s little clip before the reaping you have no idea why The Hunger Games is taking place or how it originated. Did he even mention District 13 in his clip? They totally change the story behind the Mockingjay pin. She did not buy it, it was a gift. The girl who Gale and Katniss see in the woods that gets captured by the Capitol, she does not exist in the movie. You never know that the Capitol cuts her tongue off and she ends up waiting on Katniss when she arrives at the Capitol. You would not know in the movie that Katniss and Peeta were served glorious meals during their prep before the games like fattening pigs before the slaughter, and that for the most part, they consumed them ravenously. Remember they went hungry a lot in District 12. You also never see Haymitch drunkenly fall off any stages, not one.

Okay! I know what you’re thinking again. You can not fit everything in a book into a 90+ minute movie. I know there are something’s you have to subtract and something’s you have to add due to time constraints and appeasing the masses. I get that, I do, but I just feel like they didn’t capture the essence of the movie. I think it came up flat. To me, The Hunger Games was about knowing something is so broken and so wrong but having hope that someday it will be different. It’s about staying true to yourself when everyone else tells you that you need to be false. It’s about standing up for everything you believe in with the chance you will lose everything. I am sorry I just didn’t get that vibe from the movie and I know I am not completely alone, because a Couple of mothers in the lady’s room informed us that they would not be letting their teenagers see it. They couldn’t get past the whole “games” part of it. They hadn’t read the books…

So, I didn’t LOVE it, but I did LIKE it. There is one thing I loved about the movie,though, Jennifer Lawrence, who plays Katniss. She was sensationally stellar! She owned the part. If I had an Academy Award, I would have given it too her. She was just simply amazing. I think I would watch any movie she’s in from now on just because she’s that good! I loved her, in a total non-lesbian way! Great things to come from that Kentucky girl! I just wish I could say I loved the movie. It just left me hungry for all the little, important, details that went missing in the movie. Oh well, Maybe the odds will be in my favor next time.

Ironic Qoute from Jennifer Lawrence:
[on not wanting to be famous] I look at Kristen Stewart now and I think, ‘I’d never want to be that famous.’ I can’t imagine how I’d feel if all of a sudden my life was pandemonium.

Sorry, it made me smile. I am afraid she is about to find out!

Categories: Words to Read By | Tags: , | 11 Comments

Afterbirth and Rebirth


I stumbled across a post yesterday that I can not get out of my, sometimes pretty, head. Quiet frankly, I think it is haunting me. Lurking in the shadows of my postpartum memory, stirring up emotions I had long buried, but not forgotten.

This post, Afterbirth, by Angie Kinghorn, gives you a glimpse into the monstrosity of postpartum depression and anxiety. She bares her soul and leaves nothing to spare. It is so raw, so poignant and so “real” that I am sure every mother can relate on some level, or at least understand how she got there. I know I did and she forced me to remember why….

While reading her post, I could not help but to relive my own experience with afterbirth. I kept going back to those lonely nights after I brought my daughter home. I would be up all hours of the night, rocking and nursing, rocking and nursing, wondering if this would ever end and praying that it wouldn’t. Every time she cried and I couldn’t console her, my heart would break into tiny little shards like broken glass. My thoughts were hijacked by a continuous stream of worries. Is she getting enough to eat? Is she gaining enough weight? Why does she cry so much? Is she in pain? Is this normal? Should I call the doctor? I was so consumed with her that I had forgotten all about me, but who was me now?

In a few short weeks after I brought my bundle of joy home, I was certain I had laid the old me to rest forever. I shed layers of my old life like a snake shedding its skin before winter. Spontaneity, Exuberance,and Effervescence had fallen away and were replaced with structure, restraint, panic, and melancholy. I mourned my old life with a thirst that could not be quenched. I felt like a foreigner in my own country. Everything had changed and I knew it would never be the same from the moment I heard my daughter’s first cry. I had morphed into something new, something different. A mom. A mom that would forever worry, forever want the very best, and forever love her children. A truth that would never change in life nor in death.

As mother’s, I think we all have stories of survival. I can not honestly say I can totally relate to Angie’s story, but I do know where she’s coming from. She has her story, I have mine, and you have yours. I do admire Angie for being so honest and so real. PLEASE read her post and share:

BlogHer.

 

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Just Another Crappy Monday!

My Momma said there would be days like this and she was Right! Dang it! Retched, horrible, Monday!

I had a Fabulous weekend! Friday night the babies spent the night with Nana. Saturday I got caught up on my to do list. Sunday the hubby and I spent the day with an Awesome couple at Bristol Motor Speedway. I needed the break like Hershey’s needs chocolate and Cadberry needs bunnies and this is why.

I have had a dryer that will not dry since last Thursday. The husband insists he can fix it, but his two attempts at repair continue to leave my clothes soaking wet and me fuming! I got a quote on landscaping that would require me to sell one of my kidneys on the black market to come up with the dough. If our front yard was not as barren and desolate as the Sahara desert, I would not be concerned. Although, I am sure the medical bills for me to receive a green thumb via transplant would be cheaper (I was born without one. I can grow a garden but will kill a flower every time). The husband’s tractor needs new tires and my car vibrates and shakes like it’s giving birth to an earthquake. Ugh! Oh, did I mention that I am supposed to be keeping a crazy log every time my heart palpitates for my concerned doctor. Like I have the time or enough paper to get it all down. If I were to actually do this log it would go a little something like this:

March 19th, 7:02 a.m.– I am startled from my sleep. Someone is screaming, “Milk, Mommy, Milk!”. Didn’t the kiddos get the memo. Mommy is on vacation this week. I don’t want to sleep my life away, I just want to wake up naturally, at least while I am vacating. The screaming does not cease at my desperate pleas. Palpitation. Palpitation. Palpitation.

March 19th, 8:45 a.m.–I am fixing breakfast, flipping eggs and frying bacon, when I notice silence. Silence is never good at my house, it’s the calm before the tornado. I go on a frantic hunt. I yell there names but no one answers. Finally, I find them. I find them with a roll of stickers, applying them to the wall, the glass on the French doors, the baseboards, basically, everywhere. They look like deers caught in headlights. I feel the tension building, rising, frothing, but I suppress it. I begin to remove stickers with my fingernails and place two children in a little time out! Scratch, Cry, remove. Scratch, cry, remove. Palpitation. Palpitation. Palpitation.

March 19th, 11:50 a.m.–My husband returns from trying to buy another part for the dryer and my car. His trip unsuccessful, so now it is my problem. He says to me “Tammy, will you call around and see who has them and is the cheapist?”. “Mommy, Mommy, hold me, hold me!”, begs Skylyr. “Mommy, will you play this horse game with me,” demands Lauryn. Doesn’t anyone get it? This is the first full week I have had off since I was on maternity leave over two years ago. I just want to curl up with a good book, play words with friends, chat on FB, and pin on pinterst. Palpitation. Palpitation. Palpitation.

March 19th, 12:45 p.m.–After speaking to what felt like a thousand people, nerves are shot and in foul mood, but have found places that have the parts. Yeah! My job is done till my husband asks, “Do you care to go get them.”. No, I don’t care at all! Why would I care? Palpitation. Palpitation. Palpitation.

March 19th, 5:30 p.m.–Got the parts and hubby has been hard at it! He comes in from the garage, “Bad news. I need another part for the car and the dryer is not going to work. I don’t know what else to do for it. Just go ahead and buy a new one.”. He looks like I feel, EXHAUSTED! I feel bad for him. He took off work to get all these things fixed and nothing is fixed. NOTHING! Then he asks, “Do you feel like going back out? Go and pick a dryer out so we can get it delivered soon. These piles of dirty clothes is killing me!”. Of course, I feel like going back out! Just let me get my purse and shoes! Palpitation. Palpitation. Palpitation.

March 19th, 10:10 p.m.–bought new washer AND dryer. Hubby is not happy that I bought a set! His ego took a massive hit today and now I have depleted his wallet. Not a good day for the hubby. He is going to bed. No palpitations. Yeah!

On the bright side, my washer and dryer will be here Wednesday. Hopefully, my car will be fixed tomorrow and I think I know how to cure my palpitations, now! A drink (if I drank, but I don’t), a prescription for a good SSRI (if I would take them, but I won’t) and a vacation ( A REAL one)! Yeah, right! So long Monday, hello, Tuesday!

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What kind of Mother am I

My husband and I had the opportunity to “dine out” without our children. Yeah! Thanks, Mom! As you can tell from the excitement it’s not something we get to do very often, partly by choice. So, I really made an effort to do what the sexy ladies at Cosmopolitan recommend and totally focus on the hubby; avoiding any topics child related.

I promise, I tried. I really, really, did try! I stared deep into my hubby’s eyes. I held his hand occasionally and hung onto his every word. For a nano second, I remembered what our life was like before we became parents. Then something caught my attention and wrecked my focus! Darn it!

I was pigging out on fajitas with con queso, when I overheard a LOUD, teenage girl talking trash about her mother to her friends. Oh, I felt a pang in my chest and an ache in my tummy!

I remember those days, not entirely with fondness. Yes! I “talked” about my mother when I was a teenager! I feel so Ashamed and so guilty!! My Mom is thee, very best, mother in the whole entire world, and I said bad things about her. But, I promise I didn’t mean any of it. I was young and stupid and, well, just plain stupid! Mom, If it makes you feel any better i never talked about you in any public place. It was usually only to one or two people. It only occurred after you wouldn’t let me do what I wanted, or you had just busted me doing something that was prohibited by you and/or THE LAW! Love you, Mom! Forgive me, please!

After the shame and guilt passed from my own transgressions, I begin to think about what my life will be like when I have a teenage daughter. What kind of mother will I be? I’ve not been a mom very long so I feel like I’m still trying to find my niche. Sometimes, I am stern, other times I am doting. Sometimes, I am their best friend, other times I am unpredictable. I am always loving, but truly clueless more often than I care to admit. While I was trying to figure out what type of mother I really wanted to be, my thoughts switched to what type of teenager my Lauryn may possibly turn out to be.

My thoughts of Lauryn as a teenager almost sent me screaming to the ladies room. The possibilities of Broken curfews, Boys, and Booz made me want to hurl. I imagined myself pacing the floor, biting my nails, and dialing 911 if the curfew is missed. I can see myself administering breathalyzers, drug tests, and God Forbid, pregnancy tests. I can see myself explaining my psychotic mom behavior to Lauryn. “Lauryn, I know what teenagers do. I was one once, not that long ago. I know how your mind works.”. At this thought, I began to really panic. My mind was flooded with memories I would never relive for my mom’s sake.

Then I got a flash of the mother I would become in ten years and it scared me. I was destined to become a flipping helicopter mom, hovering and swarming in on, Lauryn’s every move. I saw Lauryn hoping and wishing that I would crash and burn. I couldn’t take it any longer. I excused myself to the ladies room.

I had to take a moment for composure and remind myself that, yes, I was a teenager once. Yes, I made some mistakes, but I survived. My mother even survived. I can panic and freak out now over something that may not be that bad, right! Lauryn is not me. She will not have the same friends or boyfriends that i had. Yes, I do know she will make her fair share of mistakes, but I can’t make nor correct them for her. I will force myself to trust, and KEEP trusting her, until she gives me a reason to believe otherwise (I know. She will). If not, I will drive myself, and my daughter, certifiable CrAzY! It will lead her to talk trash about me to her friends in Mexican restaurants where other, not there yet, mothers can hear! And Panic! Breathe, Tammy, Breathe!!

P.S.  During all this Panic, this song kept playing in mind:

 

 

Categories: Life, Mommy Tales | Tags: , , | 4 Comments

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time I was young and madly in love. My Prince Charming came galloping into my life on the back of a blazing red stallion (For Real! I saw him for the first time at a horse show). We were instantly drawn to each other like magnets looking for their mates, but unlike all true fairy tales our story didn’t end on our Wedding Day. It was just beginning and the beginning sent me hurling down ever after without a road map.

I’m sure when Cinderella said “I Do”, I’m sure she never shed a single tear for her former life. I can picture her day dreaming about her new life, void of all the domestic duties her wicked stepmother had afflicted on her. No more scrubbing the floors or buckling down the hatches. She was marrying a Prince who lived in a castle full of handmaidens.

No more dishpan hands for me. “I’m free. I’m free. God Almighty, I’m free at last!”.

That very well may have been Cinderella’s ever after, but it wasn’t mine. For the most part, I am the princess and the handmaiden. I clean. I scrub. I wash. I launder. I do all these things and more and still keep my prince charming enchanted. I know Cinderella would have been so excited to do the same, luckily for her, she never got that far!

Oh, The Little Mermaid. One of my Favs! I mean, who doesn’t love a tale of forbidden love. Somehow the Forbidden part makes everything a little sweeter and juicer. Poor Aerial fell in love with a man and the world he lived in, but she had a few obstacles to overcome before she could be with her lover boy; Fins and her father. She was a mermaid and her father was King of the Ocean and like any good father he wanted what was best for Aerial. The best for Aerial was staying in her Ocean home and meeting a nice mer-man that Daddy approved of, but that was her father’s dream not Aerial’s. We all know how the story ends. Aerial found a way to be human, married the man she loved, and Daddy gave her his blessing. How Sweet!

What Aerial didn’t get the chance to find out is that when she said I do to her prince, she also said I do to his mother, father, brothers, sisters, and, well, the whole Royal Clan! The prince in turn said I do to whole lot of stinky, scaly, fish! I’m sure Aerial’s father still felt like she could have did better. She could have chose a mer-man that she would not have had to change herself for. I’m sure Aerial’s new mother-in-law was just as disappointed in her son’s choice. For Pete’s sake, her son married someone that could have been on the front, or inside, the Chicken of the Sea can. Disappointments can be hard to leave behind.

Merging two families with different backgrounds, beliefs, and traditions can be tricky and downright difficult at times without adding previous disappointments. Misunderstandings and hurt feelings are bound to surface unless you choose to accept your new family with an open mind and a open heart. I’ve found out on my travels down ever after that Love really is the answer. Regardless of disappointments and differences love your new family for all that they mean to your new Prince Charming and for the Prince they crafted for you. Without his family, he would have been a very different Prince. So, replace the differences with acceptance and swallow the disappointments. Otherwise your kingdom will constantly be under attack!

Last but not least on my list of favorite Fairytales, Beauty and the Beast. I apologize Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty, but Bella and her Beast are at the very top of my list. I feel that if Belle and Prince Adam had the chance to live out their happily ever after, it really would be, happy, for the most part. Their story is the only one where their love runs deeper than lust at first sight. Belle learned to love Prince Adam when he was still a horrible, retched, Beast. She loved him when he had fur, paws, and a temper that ignited faster than a struck match. She saw past everything that was ugly about him, inside and out, and found Beauty. A rose among the thorns. Belle’s love broke the spell and transformed her beast into a handsome prince once again.

There is one thing I’m sure Belle would have learned about her handsome prince in happily ever after land that she may not have anticipated at The End. I’m sure Belle was positive the beast was gone for good but I’m certain he would have made occasional visits. When Belle backed her carriage into the garage door, or when Belle got carried away at The General Store and maxed out her golden credit cards, or when the new baby had the colic and no one in the palace had slept for days, I’m sure The Beast would have made an appearance. At least my beast does under the mentioned circumstances, but then again, I’m no Beauty myself!

He’s Hateful. I’m easily hurt. He’s strong willed. I’m too passive. He yells. I pout. But, believe it or not, we argue infrequently (more frequently since we had children) and love often. I still love his laugh and to hold his hand. I love how he always wants to do what is right, whatever the cost. I love that he cares about almost everything and he is always willing to help out anyone in need. He has a heart the size of any magic kingdom. What I love most is that not only does he tell me, but that he also shows me daily that his magic kingdom sized heart belongs to me! I know he can be a beast at times, but he’s still my Prince Charming! You will just have to wait and see, how our fairytale will end!

“Every Love Story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.”

Categories: Life | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Rubber Boots and a Coat

My son has a BUG! Not the kind that bites, but the kind that makes you sick! Real Sick!

It started roughly two weeks ago. He would stand at the door and scream and scream and SCREAM! When it first happened, I got that I am going to be sick feeling. Is he hurt? Will he survive? What happened?

Then I see him! All body parts are intact. No fresh blood. No missing teeth. Just a pair of rubber boots and a coat.

Then it really hits me! My son has came down with March Madness. I’m not talking about the kind that sweeps thru the Bluegrass state, and makes us MAD with desire for another SEC title and NCAA title. No, not that kind. I’m referring to the kind that makes you MAD for warm weather and sun kissed faces. The kind of March Madness that longs for an end to Winter and aches for an Eternal Summer (at least until it gets so hot we start to pray for Fall).

Yes, that is what my son has! There is no cure for the Madness. All I can do is treat his symptoms. So, I let him go! I open the door and out he goes. The Screaming Stops! He plays till his nose runs and his eyes water. He stands in puddles till his rubber boots get stuck in the mud. He runs not like the wind, too clumsy, but with the wind. And, I let him go! I let him Go, so he will not stay mad!

P.S. Please pray that my son does not get REALLY sick and that he ends his fling with March. She is nothing more than a TEASE!

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“Kisses from Katie” & “Money from Tammy”

“A picture is worth a thousand words”, right? According to the author Ivan Turgenev, ” A picture can tell you at a glance, what it takes dozens of pages in a book to expound.”. Right? A book could never speak louder than images, right? I agreed with all those statements until Katie Davis’ autobiography, Kisses from Katie, made it’s way onto my must read list.

I know if you watch any television at all, you have seen the starving children in Africa commercials. I know you know the one, were an older, chubby, bald man begs you to sponsor a child in Ethopia for the amount it would cost you to spend on a cup of coffee a day. The commercial shows bone thin children sitting in trash filled alleys with flys swarming them. They are so weak from starvation that they can’t even raise their hands to swat the flies. See these commercials left an impression on me, but not enough for me to donate money.

I know it sounds awful, but I just had a hard time believing that they were really hundreds or even thousands of children literally starving to death. People wouldn’t let other people starve to death, right? How naive I once was amidst the comforts of my plush American life.

I know what you’re thinking. Poor Naive girl! I bet she’s never been outside the United States. I bet she’s never went hungry a day in her life! I bet her parents could afford to send her to school. I bet her mother has never given her alcohol to numb the pain of hunger. I bet her mother has never changed her little sister’s diaper and found worms. I bet her mother never sold herself to feed her children. I bet she weighed more than ten pounds when she was two. I bet she doesn’t even know anyone that has HIV, let alone see whole families die from it.

All those statements are true. I have never ever felt what it’s like to be truly hungry. My pantry is always stocked. When I was two year old, I was considered slightly overweight! I have always had a roof over my head that doesn’t leak and clean water to drink when I’m thirsty. All my needs are consistently met and most of my wants as well. For most of the Ugandan population, their wants and needs are not different, they are the same. They want for what they need; food, shelter, clean water, education and medical care. I am sure for the children of Maese their wants have never ever went beyond their basic needs.

I must say I cried huge crocodile tears of shame and guilt while reading Katie’s book. I have been contemplating buying the new iPad 3 and somewhere in Uganda children are taking their last breathes, because they didn’t have food to eat or access to decent medical care. Katie’s book has been a slap in the face for me, but in a good way!

Despite all the horrific tales of Starvation, Filthe, and Desperation, there is hope and inspiration. Katie’s light shines so bright, you almost need sunglasses to block the glare coming from the pages of her book. Katie is a Modern Day Mother Teresa. She loves the Lord with all heart, and has made sacrifices, and carried crosses so heavy, that most Christians would find what she bore unbearable. She doesn’t have Faith the size of a Mustard Seed.
She has faith the size of a Grapefruit.

Katie grew up in Brentwood, TN. She was Homecoming Queen and drove a
Convertible. She had a boyfriend who she planned to attend college with, and eventually marry someday. However, God had other plans for Katie. He put a calling so loud and so close to her heart for The Ugandan people that she defied her parent’s wishes, dropped out of college, gave up her boyfriend,and started a life in Uganda.

By the age of 19, Katie had founded an non-profit organization called Amazima Ministries. US donors help support the organization which helps 400 children go to school, provides community health programs and feeds more than a thousand children five days a week. Davis is a foster mother to thirteen children. She bathes them. She feeds them. She clips 130 nails. She braids 13 heads. She sends them to school and teaches them about a man named Jesus. She loves them as if they were her own and does it all because as a Christian, Jesus instructed his followers to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world (James 1:27) Katie is just doing what has been asked of her, nothing more, nothing less, right? We who consider ourselves Christian do the same, right?

Even though Katie has entered places that most of us only read about in books, it doesn’t stop the world from criticizing her. Despite the fact that she has held Ugandans of all ages as they have passed from this world, nursed dying children back to life, and fed the mouths of thousands, people still question her logic, her intentions, her motives. They say it’s not good for such a young girl to be a mother. And, to so many! Thirteen children!

Oh, if they only understood! God knows no reason! We are all the same to him, his children. Katie is a woman after Gods own heart. Katie has shown us all where we are WEAK and he is STRONG! Maybe if more of us Christians lived our lives like Katie, just maybe no one would EVER go hungry. Maybe no one would EVER die alone. Maybe mothers wouldn’t EVER have to abandon their children because they can’t feed another mouth. Maybe. Just Maybe.

You can follow Katie’s journey @ http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

To Donate to Amazima Ministries: http://amazima.org/

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Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Somewhere over the Rainbow

KY Tornados

One of my all time favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. I know I am not alone on this one, but I always felt a kinship of sorts with Dorothy. She loved Toto and I loved Toto. She was afraid of The Wicked Witch and I was petrified of The Wicked Witch and her flying monkey’s too. Dorothy spent most of her time looking frightened and well, so do I. Dorothy always felt like there was no place like home, and like I still do, she believed there is a even better place than home just over the Rainbow.

One thing that I don’t have in common with Dorothy is that I would never, ever call Kansas home. I am sure it is a Fabulous place to live, and the people are just lovely, but I could never live anywhere that has a name synonymous with Tornados. Tragically, for my fellow Kentuckians they didn’t have to visit Kansas to witness the destruction and aftermath of Nature’s fury, The Tornado, it came to them.

All day, yesterday, the atmosphere was electric in more ways than one. People were a buzz with talk of Tor-con levels, Vortexes and super cells. Some man named Jim, from The Weather Channel was on his way to Lexington. Cashiers, UPS men, and Wal-mart greeters all quickly became meteorologists, giving minute by minute updates of the fast approaching storms. All eyes were glued to Doppler radars and all ears were listening for sirens.

As the day went on the air became thicker. You could cut the humidity with a knife. It felt like The 4th of July on March 2nd. Yet despite all the signs, watches and warnings I was still skeptical. Nothing ever happens in our sleepy little town, and let’s be honest there isn’t anything as unpredictable as the weather, right? How many times do they miss it? One little shift, and the whole forecast goes down the drain. Disappointing if you had your heart set on a snow day, but a blessing if you cancelled your home insurance yesterday and are expecting a Tornado today! It seems like when you want the weather man to get it all wrong with everything in you, and take back all the warnings, he gets it right. Unfortunately, on March 2, 2012, the Weatherman got it right!

Yesterday evening, a tornado touched down in the East Bernstadt area of Laurel County, a neighboring county to where I live. The tornado did what they do best; demolish, tear down, and wipe clean everything that is unfortunate to be in it’s path. How sad, and, punch you in the gut, heart- wrenching, it is to see and hear about all that your neighbors have lost. Some had minor damages and minor injuries, and other lost everything, including their lives. It is unfathomable to think about what all those involved must have went thru when the twisters made their impact upon their lives. I am sure that they will be haunted from the sights and sounds of that night for years to come.

Still, the hardest part is on the Horizon. The clean up! It can take years to repair what was torn down in a matter of seconds, and there are so many things that they will never ever get back. Luckily, for these fellow Kentuckians they live in a community where people ban together and unite, to hold hands if they need held, wipe tears as they fall, and lend strong backs, to repair what was tore down. For those who lost their lives, we mourn their passing but we know for those who believed, the clouds are now far behind them and their worries have melted like lemon drops somewhere over the Rainbow!

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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