Sister Sorrow

It has been a long, hard week. One, we will not soon forget.

Monday, runners ran and bombs exploded, atoms split, three died, and we cried.

Tuesday, more explosions, more people gone, up in flames, up in smoke.

Then there’s the doctor, a monster, a maniac, who ran a house of horrors, stitched and sketched from the lining of nightmares.

My husband, my God-fearing husband who is always bent, bent in prayer, on his knees, with his hands all over the word, asked me, “What next?”

And, I wonder…

I wonder will sister sorrow visit our house next?

Will she walk right through our front door?

Will her bare feet pound up and down our hardwood floors?

Will she sit at our supper table, break bread, and dine with us?

Will she crawl in our beds, sleep under our ćovers, and steal our dreams?

Will she?

We weep and we wonder.

Why do good men die and bad men thrive?

We turn to the book of Job, we sing Psalms, and write lines and lines of Lamentations.

We seek peace and comfort.

We find them both in the foundation of our faith.

We were taught and we believe, when sister sorrow enters in,

the Father and his Son will be there too.

The father who gave us life, formed us from the dirt of the earth, and the breath of his lungs.

The Son of Man who hung on tree, so that someday we can see

a day without tears,

a life without fears,

a place to rest at the end of life’s journey,

Heaven.

Oh, What a Day that will be!

Categories: Faith, Life | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Lesson We Need to be Teaching

imageFrom the very first time I saw the lines of a pregnancy test flash positive, and I heard the first sounds of life, beating fast and fierce from the depths of my womb, I knew I needed a son.

I knew I needed a son, because I felt I could not raise a daughter right.

Raising a son would be simple, easy at it’s best. See I thought men were born knowing their worth, their value mapped and wrapped in their DNA. Men who enter this world through the loins of a woman, clothed in valor, marked by dominance, know the world belongs to them, laid open wide at their feet.

If God gave me a daughter, rearing her would be difficult, hard at it’s best. A girl searches the mirror not for her reflection, but for her appraisal. She takes every label, every hate-filled word spoken by tongues of the wicked, the lustful, the spiteful, and she swallows them whole. They cling to her insides, eating away at the very core of her being. The lies, the labels, the looks, and gropes can break a girl down. They can make her something new, something ugly from the inside out.

To raise a daughter right, I would first have to know my worth. I would have to believe that I am more than the size of my waist and bust. I am worth more than what my body can offer. I am more than the lies I ate, with a mouth open wide, and I would know my true value, so she would know hers.

As the universe would have it, God gave me a daughter first, and then a son. Now, my children need to know that their mother had it all wrong, so wrong. Raising a child, any child, boy or girl, is hard. It takes work. It takes perseverance, and more than anything, it takes sacrifice. As parent’s we are given 18 years, 216 months, 6.570 days to give this parenting gig our very best. It seems like a lifetime to a child, but not to a parent.

The clock is always ticking, her hands are always moving, and we know there are lessons we should be teaching, and words we need to be speaking, but they all get lost. Lost in the laundry, dirty dishes in the sink, food on the stove, in their mouths, on the floor, and we are wiping , cleaning, and screaming, but not teaching, at least not right.

I know I am going to get a lot of things wrong. I am going to make mistakes and mishaps, but I am not alone. Watch the nightly news, the daily papers, search the web and you will see, we are all faltering, tripping, and stumbling.

Marathon runners run their last race on two legs, horror movies become real in theaters, and God help us, children lose their lives by attending school, and we all ask why?

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We all know life begins with a mother. A mother to conceive and carry an unborn life. A mother, to labor and deliver a child. A mother to nurse and nourish a child, and a mother to nurture and teach a child.

Today, more than ever, mothers and fathers alike need to teach their children the value of human life. From the unborn fetus to the aging man with one foot planted on Earth and the other in heaven, from the feeble daughter to the strong son, from the man whose pockets are always full to the widowed woman who has none. They all count. They all matter. They all deserve to be loved and held and cherished and treasured. A message we need to keep teaching and repeating…

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

By his Hands

Somedays I hear it, the sound of a hammer hitting a chisel.

Somedays I see it, pieces of stone, split and fall.

I am the clay and he is the potter.

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He hums as he works, “You were fearfully and wonderfully made, my child.”

The hammer hits the chisel again and again.

I bend and bow.

I crack at the seams.

Blood and water flow,

Covering me, washing me clean.

He doesn’t stop, let up, or slow down.

He keeps working.

He keeps molding,

sanding the rough spots, smoothing the edges,

and he keeps humming, “Be still, my child. Let me labour, for my works are marvelous.”

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Categories: Faith | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blow Out Your Birthday Candle, Miss Kynlee!

In twelve months, your entire life can change. You can travel the world, swim in the crystal clear waters of Bora, Bora, indulge your taste buds on the streets of Paris with sweet tarts and macarons, and scale the Himalayan mountains to dance on the roof of the world. In twelve months, you can learn to speak a second language with fluency, or pen the 75,000 word novel that unfolded daily on a center stage in your mind. In twelve months, you can learn to fly the friendly skies on the wings of a mechanical bird, or obtain a license to dive down deep with the creatures of the sea. In twelve months, you can reinvent yourself, let yourself go, become someone new; and in twelve months you can meet and fall in love with a girl, who will change your whole world.

Twelve months ago, my baby sister’s life changed, for the better. My sister met her daughter for the very, first time. Twelve months ago, my baby sister became a mother. This past weekend we celebrated the birth of her baby girl, and rejoiced for all the love and joy she has brought to our family this past year.

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Happy Birthday, Miss Kynlee! Here’s to many, many more!

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

Gratitude can grow from weeds

I am 33 weeks pregnant today which feels more like 333 years pregnant to my ever-expanding body. I try, God knows I try, to be grateful for this opportunity, for this experience, for this chance to create and carry life, but some days I cave. I buckle under the strain, and some days like today, I completely surrender to my long list of complaints that come with growing pains.

I have not slept a full night in weeks. My stomach has become a volcano, erupting with throat-burning lava at every ingestion. My back hurts, my legs hurts, and I cry so easy like a woman whose lost her levies, her dam broke-down, the flood waters rushing, the banks retreating. Please, feel free to stop reading now, because pregnancy turns me into something I hate; a complainer, a wretched complainer.

On the way home from work today, I daydreamed about my due date. My blessed due date! Oh, how far away, May feels, almost like a foreign country I will never visit, or a sweet dream locked away in my heart that will never come true. I wanted to cry again and again and again.

Then I picked my sweet little boy up, and his mam-maw said he’s missed me all day. He has missed me, the whiny and complaining, mother that I am. She told me has something he’s been waiting to give me. He’s held them in his hands all day, only putting them down to potty.

They may be just weeds to you, but they are so much more to me.

They may be just weeds to you, but they are so much more to me.

He picked these for me. He carried them all day for me, because he loves me. To him, my sweet son, I am worth the inconvenience. I am worth so much more than the cost to him, and I am ashamed, guilt-stricken to the core. I am so very regretful for every grievance my lips have sung, and I am left with nothing more than pure gratitude. My blessings cover my complaints, they wipe the slate clean, and love resides at the end of every stroke.

Thank you, Jesus for my aches, and my pains, and most of all, for my three beautiful blessings. They are worth it all!

Categories: Life, Love, Mommy Tales | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bread and Wine

We sit in cloth covered pews, hands clasped in prayer, as light, wonderful light, streams through stained glass windows.

Hand to hand, stainless steel trays our passed holding the fruit of the vine and flat bread.

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We take the bread, give thanks, and eat. We eat the bread, his body, love and life everlasting, broken, bruised and bleeding for us. We eat the bread, remember the stripes, the nail scarred hands, his death mounted on a tree. We do it in remembrance of him, of his sacrifice.

We take the juice of grapes and drink. We remember his bloodshed, the blood of Jesus, flowing from our sins and transgressions, not his own, never his own. Our guilt, thick and hot, covered the ground of Golgotha. We raise our cups and drink in remembrance of him, the New Testament in his blood.

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This Thursday, before this Good Friday, and every day after, every day, remember his broken body, remember his blood, the blood of Jesus. Because his blood washed away your sin. Because his blood can make you whole again. Because his blood is hope and peace, and the only way home. The only way…

Categories: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

My King

I live in the United States of America. We our a democratic country, governed by one man, a president. Our land is divided into states not kingdoms. Our population of people does not consist of Kings and Queens, Prince and Princesses. We are celebrities, farmers, social workers, missionaries, doctors, lawyers, thieves and robbers.

I, myself, am a common person, leading a common life. I have never touched ground on foreign soil. My eyes have not witnessed the pomp and circumstance of a royal procession. My feet have never trod the corridors of a massive castle, and my fingertips have never brushed the robes of royalty, but I worship a King, a mighty redeemer.
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The king I kneel to, I have never seen, only felt. A king, part flesh and bone, and part God, born of a virgin birth in a lowly manager. His name whispered on the tongues of angels, his destiny inscribed in ancient prophecy. This King, my king, was not sent to rule, he was sent to serve. He spoke in parables, commanding his people to love and to forgive, spreading messages of hope in a world that had none. He performed miracles in his father’s name. He healed the sick, made the blind see, the deaf hear, and the lame walk. He breathed life into the dead and conquered the grave with a cross. My King, My Savior, loved. He loved….He loved you and me so much, he gave up his life…He died for you and me…so that we may live.

“I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die.” -Jesus (John 11: 25-26)

My king still loves and he still lives and his message remains the same. As we go through this holy week, many of us will buy plastic eggs and candy, search for the perfect dress with a matching hat, buy baby chicks and little ducks, and eat lots of peeps, but we NEED to do only two things. One, remember, always remember his sacrifice, brand it on your heart and believe it with every single fiber of your being. Second, walk in his message…live his words…LOVE. Sweet sisters and brothers, love!

“The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The Second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” -Jesus (Mark 12:29-31)

May you and yours have a blessed Holy week and a passion filled Easter!

Categories: Faith | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Confessions

Pull up a chair. Sit down, and let me tell you about my life right now.

I am overjoyed that spring has finally sprung. I feel like a caged bird that has been set free, ready to take flight. My wings are spread open wide, soaring with the rhythm of the wind. My eyes behold the beauty of new birth and I am filled to the brim with hope, overflowing.

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If you come in a little closer and dig a little deeper, I could tell you how my children break my heart a thousand times a day. My son is wild and unruly, but loves fiercely, with his whole heart. He gives sweet kisses and wrap-around-your-neck hugs, freely, like a flight attendant passes coffee and tea. I savor, each and every one, praying as he grows into a teenager, and then a man, that I will always remember how it felt to be loved by this sweet little boy.

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I could tell you about my baby turned big girl. It seems like I just cradled her in my arms for the first time yesterday, and I stayed up all night, just last night, rocking her, rubbing her back, with her little face buried in my neck. I turned away just for a moment, and now she’s five, losing teeth, losing training wheels, and almost too big for her momma’s lap. My heart aches. She’s growing up way too fast, and there is nothing I can do to slow it down.

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If you were sitting across from me, I would lay my hand gently on top of yours, and whisper so softly, this piece of advice, relish in the reality of today. Whatever this day has brought, sunshine or cloudy skies, it is still a gift. There will never be another day like today, so enjoy!

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Ten Links for the Beginning Blogger

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I started this blog a little over a year ago with one intent: to write and only write. My head and my heart needed an outlet and my fingertips became my voice. As good as it feels to let it all out (and it does feel really good), I soon discovered that blogging is more than just writing. Blogging is a lot about presentation; pictures that stir the soul, fancy fonts, wacky widgets, blog blissful templates, orderly organization, and on and on (concepts I know zero about). Remember, I just wanted to write people, but I wanted my blog to look pretty too!

After a year of blogging I still feel as green as a four-leaf clover. I know little to nothing about the technical jazz related to website design. I now understand why graphics design requires a college degree. Oh my Goodness!! Then there is photography and all I can say about that is thank God for instagram and snapseed. Oh Snap! However, in my pursuit for a better blog, I have stumbled across some links and websites that I wish I would have came across before I started this crazy online journal. So, if you are thinking about beginning a blog or maybe would like to make the blog you already have look a little better than these ten links are for you, my dear! And, if you could care less about blogging, then I am truly sorry. This post and ten links are not for you. Better luck next week!

1. What blogging platform should I use, you ask? Blogger(Blogspot) Vs. WordPress? Hosted Vs. Self-Hosted? Here’s your answer: Where to Blog and how to begin

2. Have you ever wanted to know how to create a custom facebook timeline cover or a blog header that looks professionally designed? Yep! Me too. Here’s your link: Step by Step Blog Header Customization

3. I love posts that end in a blogger’s signature. It makes the whole post feel personal and just for you like a sweet hand written note. Do you want to know how to add a signature to your posts?Sign here

4. If you want to make your very own pretty little fonts, here you go: Draw Away!

5. Do you wish you knew, what in the world to do, when you’ve been glaring at a computer screen for hours and have absolutely nothing to post for it? This is what you do:

The words will eventually come...

The words will eventually come…

6. If you would love standout categories on your blog, then this link is for you and me: twelve free category flags

7. Do you wish you knew how to create your very own blog button using Pixlr(free)? Here is your solution: Push here

8. If you crave pinable photos and text this link is for you: Photo Editing Tips and Tricks for bloggers

9. If a good chuckle is what your heart desires:
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10. And, if you could care less about blogging, but you would like to find the perfect gift for my new bundle of joy, here you go:

Perfect!

Perfect!

Good Luck and Happy Blogging!

Categories: Ten Links for Everything | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Sisterhood of the Traveling Maternity Pants

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In the corner of my closet, a storage bin sits overflowing with maternity clothes in all sizes and styles. For the past six years, the ladies in my family have passed the bin from one sister to another like a torch of fertility and love. Our hearts rejoice for our expecting sister, but for me, underneath the surface runs a little stream of envy. I am elated at the news and excited to hand over the hideous clothes, but I always feel a little tug, a little prick. “I wish it were me. I wish I were the one getting a baby, a newborn with blushing pink skin to kiss and a little baby neck to nuzzle.” The wishing and the envying forced me to add a stipulation to ease the pain with the bin hand over, “You can borrow them, but I may need them back.”

Luckily right now, I don’t feel the envy. I am the envy. So, today on my frustrating search through the bin for something, for anything at all that would accommodate my bulging baby bump, I had this thought, “What if this time, is this very last time, I will need this bin? What if I never need parachute blouses and elastic waist bands with hideous panels again? Will I be okay if I never see the second line on a pregnancy test magically appear in pink just one more time? What if this is truly the last time my abdomen will stretch and expand to house and nourish a little one? Will my uterus ever be content without feeling the miracle of tiny kicks and flutters? Will it?”

I just want to know if a mother’s womb ever stops longing to be filled, full of flesh and bone, and life?

Is a mother still a mother without a child?

Does a mama bird still soar as high and hunt as fearlessly when her nest is empty?

Does she sing songs strung on notes of sorrow and grief after?

I don’t know if I will ever see a mother-to-be and not think of how I felt when I carried my children. Every emotion, every fear, every moment of bliss, I will now and forever remember, and each of my children, regardless of how far they travel in this life and into the next, will always carry a piece of my heart with them.

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So, I am sure most of you are probably wondering if I will give the traveling maternity pants up without a fight. The answer is yes, but with one stipulation. They can borrow them, but I may need them back!

Categories: Mommy Tales | Tags: , , , , , | 6 Comments
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